A photo dump of the last 2ish months

These pictures are from my birthday! We went to the brooklyn botanical gardens and the Brooklyn Flea market.  It was awesome, there were so many fun things.  We also went to Korean Karaoke with a bunch of friends! We literally rented a room for three hours to ourselves and sang karaoke. It was fun.

These braids turned out so well, I was very impressed with my skills.

These next bunch are from an adventure I went on with Kelci.  I posted them on facebook, but it doesn't hurt to see them again.

 Ramen is all the rage here, and for good reason.  It is so delicious!!!!! This was a beef ramen with some other things in it. I could eat it forever.

 This was an amazing used bookstore nearby, the books are stacked for miles.  It is a pretty cool place to be.  Mom would love it.  The next picture is the car that Kelci showed up it.  Her and her boyfriend work at Mercedes.  He is a manager and they give him a different car to drive every two weeks or so.  It was so fun to ride in and drive.  Kelci let me drive it.  It was amazing!  I loved it.  It is the most expensive thing I will probably ever drive.

These next pictures are from a gig I played.  I got to play in the hall that the NJ symphony plays in, the equivelent to Orchestra Hall in Minneapolis.  It was beautiful! and Awesome!  I actually played in the group right before NJSO so I got to be back stage with all the professionals.  I got paid 75$ to play 5 minutes in one piece.  Easiest 75$ I ever made!

 The rest of these are just random pictures that I like.

We were adventuring to the roof of the business building.  It was late, Wes felt creeped out standing in the hallway by himself so he came in the bathroom with us.

The easter eggs my friend and I made on Easter, mine on the row on the right.

Our Easter hike, it was 87 degrees

I was feeling particularly sassy this day

This was from my adventure into the city last Saturday, we waiting for the subway.  This was my "proof I'm not in the city alone" picture for The Mom.

We wanted to go see the Charging Bull statue.  We took the subway and this is where we got out.  It was beautiful and amazing.  I know it has a name, but I don't remember what it was, but the geometric architecture was super cool.

This on the twin towers memorial.  It was pretty sobering.  We didn't go in the museum, but we stood here and looked around for a while.

These guys were right by the twin towers memorial.  They were building a sand sculpture, in the rain I might add! Ok it was just a drizzle.  It would have been cool to see the finished thing.

The bull

 Did you know that the bull actually is technically "vandalism"  that's the wrong word, but I don't know the right one.  The artist created it completely with his own money and materials.  He installed it himself in the street without permission.  The city originally wanted him to move it, but the citizens loved it and it stays.  It belongs to the artist and he can technically bring it home with anytime.  And the girl is cool, but she was a commissioned piece.  I don't remember the whole story, but because of who the company that commissioned it, she doesn't represent defiance as much as everyone would like to believe.  I read an article about it.  If requested I will find it.  The bull originally represented what people want the girl to represent, the world just forgot.

and the girl that was added just a few months ago.

We went to The Strand, a super famous bookstore in Manhattan.  It was GINORMOUS!  This was the farthest back corner in the basement.  It was the only section without anyone in it.  It was the section on Law. 

The rest of these are taken from my snapchat.  Snapchat deletes pictures in 24 hours, but I save the ones I particularly like.  These are all basically selfies, so if you don't want to see ridiculous selfies I understand.  Some of them are the wrong way and I couldn't figure out/was too lazy to turn them the right way...sorry.

These last two are from when we went on tour to Atlantic City.  We stopped at a couple high schools and played for them. My awesome studio.

A tale of emotional hurt

This isn't a happy post.  This is going to be a story of sadness and hurt, but I wanted to let you guys know what has happened in my life the past month.  There is a lot to sort through, but I want to be as straight forward as possible.  I'm doing a lot better though! I'll do another post that includes happier things and pictures.

A little over a month ago, Mike broke up with me.  It came as a surprise.  I had been toying with the idea of breaking up with him because he had started acting a little strange in February, just pulling away a little bit.  I guess because I felt him pulling away it should have been my sign, but I was still surprised.  When I spent time with him, it was the best thing ever! It was only when we apart that I entertained the thought of breaking up with him.  He was starting to see me less and less.

I was pretty devastated.  I knew I would be ok, but that initial hurt ya know?  One night that week after he broke up with me, Kelci took me out to distract me.  It was good, we had fun.  We talked to some people and danced and had a good time.  We came home and Jackie was in the kitchen.  She asked me how I was doing and I started crying.  Jackie is Mike's best friend, that's how Mike and I met.  I knew it was a dangerous game, dating my roommate's best friend, but it felt worth it.

I made the mistake of asking Jackie how long she knew?  The only reason I asked this was because two days before Mike broke up with me, Jackie and Matt and RJ and I had been hanging out and Jackie acted so strange and it was super uncomfortable.  I assumed afterwards because she had known.  Jackie told me the truth and said that he had planning to make sure I had a good birthday, and then would do it.  He broke up with me the end of March, my birthday is the beginning of March folks!  So I was pretty upset by that.  I was so hurt.  There were a few other things said in that conversations, but truthfully, I don't remember them.

I went the next few weeks hurting, but healing.  I was really upset that Mike would wait that long to break up with me.  I will admit.  I confronted Mike about it.  We talked, he calmed me down.  It was fine.

My roommates and I planned to have a girls night on a Friday, it was the Friday before Easter.  It was just gonna be a relaxing night on a three day weekend, we would play some games, talk.  I was pretty excited because we hadn't done it in a while.  For a couple of reasons, 1: Jackie was always avoiding me/hiding in her room.  I didn't understand this, Mike had already broken up with me.  I understand hiding before that, but whatever.  And 2: Kelci basically lives with her boyfriend so she is never home.

*Slight interruption to tell you about Jackie.  She doesn't have friends.  She has lived in this area in her whole life, I went to her New Year's Eve party and there was no one there.  Which is fine, but it makes you wonder.  She is very strange.  She refuses to share anything about herself with people.  She wants to hear every detail about your life, but will give nothing about hers.  She has said a few times that she can't share her life with us, that she just can't.  Insinuating that maybe we would judge her for whatever choices she makes or that we would be shocked by something.  I don't know, she's a good enough roommate, but weird.

Anyway, we are sitting around, Jackie asks how I'm doing.  I tell her I'm fine, but I really miss Mike.  I miss telling him about my day, and just being goofy together, and talking about nothing.  Those "do nothing together" moments.  I miss the calm he brought to my life and the stability.  I'm not a calm person, I live in crazy (whether on purpose or not who knows...I do thirst for adventure)  Mike is a safe boring guy and I kind of enjoyed that he brought that into my life.  We keep talking about stuff and I ask, what about you Jackie? tell us about your life, is there anyone you like?" You know? Normal girl talk stuff?  She refused to tell us anything.  Just saying "I can't tell you, I can't tell you."  I got really sick of hearing that every time I ever talked to her, so I got mad.  I went to bed because I didn't want to handle that nonsense. (I've gotten pretty good at being upfront to people about my feelings since moving here!) Kelci goes home, but not before chastising Jackie for never telling us about her life. So Jackie knocks on my door, and then we talk about her life.

I suppose you could say I prodded the bear, so it's a little my fault, but I wasn't prepared for this.

Jackie told me that she is in love with Mike and has been since the day she met him.  She told me a lot that I didn't need to hear.  She told me that she broke up with her boyfriend (of 6 years) in January because she couldn't be with anyone but Mike.  She told me that she was insanely jealous of me the entire time.  That she would listen to us giggling in my room and couldn't handle it.  That she encouraged him to break up with me.  That the reason that she lost her cool at our party on October 15 was because Mike and I kissed. (Later that week we started dating.)  Then she told me that I just don't understand, I could never understand because she loves him.  He saved her life.  She has had sex with him, and it was the best she had ever had.  I just couldn't understand.  She told me other things, but they all fit under this.

I was heart broken.  I had never hurt that much in my life.  I didn't really know what to do.  She told me those things intentionally to hurt me.  She could have just said that "I love Mike" and left it at that.  I would have understood, but she just kept going on and on and on.  I asked her so many times if it was ok when I first started dating him.  I can follow the girl code, they are best friends.  I wouldn't have touched him if she had just said something.  She told me that night that she wanted me to be happy, but apparently I had reached my happiness level and decided for me that I didn't get that anymore, at least not with Mike.  I felt dead inside.  I literally couldn't function the next day.

But I realized that night why Jackie has no friends if this is how she treats people.  She is living a life that isn't healthy and hurts people and keeps them away from her.  But then she cries about how lonely she is.

I told Jackie that she needed to tell it all to Mike.  She refused.  She was afraid that it would ruin her friendship with Mike.  I told her that she owed it to me because my heart and I got caught up in all this nonsense.  But she wouldn't and won't.  I got together with Mike a few days later with the intention of telling him because I felt that we didn't get a fair shot with our relationship, but I realized that Mike and I are over.  And that as long as Jackie is his best friend, we never will.  And that it isn't worth it to be caught up in that mess.  I didn't tell him, maybe I will someday, but not right now.

I still miss him everyday.  He was really good for me. But I'm on the incline. There is more drama, specifically boy drama in my life, but that can be saved for another day.  It's been a little bit weird how much drama and emotional hurt I have been finding myself in since being here.  I've never had to deal with it ever before and I'm not sure how to.  I'm really excited to go hime for the summer and take some time to heal from this nonsense.

Quick Jaunt to Tennessee

Hi Fam!

As you may know, Dad and I took a quick 

trip to Tennessee this last weekend, to see

Kayla and Kerry, and to see Kayla perform 

in The Crucible.

This is a shot as we were coming into Tennessee.

It rained like crazy!

I wished I could get a ton a pictures. It was so so 

beautiful! But we were on the freeway and hurrying 

to get there. I snapped this one as we were driving.

 There were rock walls on either side of us, and

there were just continual waterfalls all along the cliffs.

It was foggy and green and lush.

Gorgeous!

And isn't that orange truck beautiful?

This is the theatre.

It was pretty cool to go to the theatre 

district, to a real theatre, 

to watch our kid perform.

One more just for fun.

And a couple inside as well.

We got there in time for the Saturday matinee, which was 

so good. Can I gush a little and say 

how proud and amazed I was?

Seriously, where is that shy, reserved girl?

Not on stage. That's where!

After it was done Kayla came out and I was

able to get just a couple shots.

So exciting!

Kayla greeted her fans

Sorry for the bad lighting.

All the attitude.

She is a baaad girl!

Not Kayla's theatre, but it looked cool.

Also, notice the sky in the not too far distance.

Black! It was getting darker and windier as we

 headed for the parking garage.

As soon as we got in the garage the sky opened. 

We were under a roof but in an open stairway and got 

soaked because the wind was so crazy.

It was so much rain!

There were flash flood warnings all over

and I could see why.

 Dad and I headed for Kayla's house,

and Sue and Kayla went to get 

chinese take out..

It was delicious.

Then it was time to go back to the theatre for the

evening performance. Kayla, Sue and I went, 

while Dad stayed home and hung out with Kerry 

and napped. The evening show was with the

 second cast. It was fun to see it with the other

 performers too, and compare and contrast.

We slept really well, and with fluffy Frank, I might add.

We got up in the morning and went to the 

Presbyterian church with Kayla. 

It was really awesome to watch their rehearsal.

So on point. So efficient. So pleasing.

Also, they sang with such gusto!

It made my heart happy.

None of that namby pamby weak singing.

This is the woman of the hour after the last 

performance. I really enjoyed watching her

 performance grow with each show.

With handsome Kerry

So beautiful and happy!

With the voice teacher

And the vocal coach

And the co-star, Ian.

After that we went to go see the boat Kerry has

been building. Ah may zing! The kitchen is

bigger than mine. Full size appliances. Granite 

countertops. Three bedrooms. Laundry room. 

Party decks. Yes. More than one.

Mind boggling, really.

And then, we went out to a wing joint

and ate all the delicious fried food.

All of it.

And went home and I don't know what,

because we were so tired.

Next morning Kerry had to go to work (boo).

Dad and Kayla and I went to the campus

and Kayla showed us all around.

And we ate more fried food,

(Chili cheese fries and hush puppies)

And walked around a neat general store.

After Kerry came home we went and walked 

around some beautiful gardens.

 I was amazed at how different the plants

 and birds are there from here.

Then we went to a really cool place and ate more food.

(Yes. Really)

This place had fabulous decor and 

butterbeer and it was delicious!

It was a really fun double date.

And then we had to head back to Minnesota.

I was so sad to leave.

I always hate leaving you kids.

I think if I'm eighty I will shed a tear leaving you.

This is a tulip tree.

It was covered with these flowers.

And this is a barn I just thought was cool, 

somewhere 

in the endless state of Illinois.

And then we got home at 3:00 AM

and were very tired.

The end.

PS I have no idea how I got home without a single

picture of Dad and only one of me.

Weird.

So that's the saga.

Short. Exhausting. Wonderful.

Love you!